by Benjie Garcia
Have you ever noticed how the questions you ask shape your reality?
From childhood curiosity to corporate meetings, questions are the key to unlocking new perspectives. Dealing with questions has been a constant in my life. As a child, I asked questions to explore and learn about my ever-expanding world. As a student, the exchange of ideas often began with questions, either from myself, my peers, or our teachers. And in the corporate world, asking and answering questions was a daily task. Yet, with this constant exposure, I began to take the value of questions for granted.
It wasn’t until I became an external coach that I gained a renewed appreciation for questions. One of my first coaching assignments was with a young manager, being groomed for a Director-level role. In one of our sessions, he expressed frustration about how he often reacted emotionally when challenged by a peer in meetings. I asked him, “What went through your mind during those moments?” After some reflection, he admitted that he assumed his colleague’s goal was to embarrass him. But as he thought about it further, he realized that the business meetings were meant to encourage debate and challenge each other’s ideas. This was an important shift—he began to see the power of questions, particularly open-ended ones, in bringing about awareness.
Of course, great coaching involves much more than just asking powerful questions. The art of questioning comes from active listening, observation, curiosity, and being non-judgmental. Questions like these help us dig deeper, whether in a coaching session or our everyday interactions.
Questions also shape how we make decisions. In “Change Your Questions, Change Your Life”, Marilee Adams, PhD, introduces her Question Thinking system, which helps us transform our actions and results by asking skillful questions—first to ourselves and to others. What resonates with me about her work is the acknowledgment that we all make judgments, whether consciously or unconsciously. By accepting this, we can shift from being “judgers” to becoming “recovering judgers” by asking ourselves a set of simple, transformative questions. Questions like: “What happened? What do I want—for myself and others? What can I learn?” These simple inquiries shift us from a reactive, “judger mindset” to a proactive “learner mindset.” They allow our executive brain to take over from our emotional brain. Since learning about the Question Thinking system, I’ve made it a habit to pause and ask myself these questions—not just in my professional life, but at home as well.
In conclusion, improving our ability to ask simple yet powerful questions can create a lasting impact on our lives. The next time you face a challenge, pause and ask yourself: “What can I learn from this?”
What questions will you ask today to unlock new possibilities?
